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» Ai.R »»
Monday, November 23
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“ I’m the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party some place or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible…
— Prozac Nation // Elizabeth Wurtzel (via thelovelybones)
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Sometimes it makes me terribly sad, that everyone doesn’t just fall in love once and stay in love. Wouldn’t it be nice? Curled up inside each other like sleeping kittens. And I think even if you do find that person, that 100% perfect other, you still change, both of you, and hopefully the changes still allow you to stay in love, those two new people just as compatible as the people you were when you met and fell in love.
You know that pain in your gut when someone you’ve loved loves someone else? That forlorn feeling of “not me, not me, not me”? No, it’s not you. But it’s not your ex-lover either. Not the one you knew, not exactly. Not the same dance, not at all, even when it looks the same. How can it be, when you aren’t there to do it? No one is as good at being you as you are. And he wanted you once. Your lover has changed, changed into someone that wants someone else, not you, not you, not you.
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